The 90/10 rule

“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.”
― Charles Swindoll

Yesterday I was driving home, listening to the audible verison of the book Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo and she referenced this quote. I hit the clip and made a note. I do this from time to time when I come across a bit of a book that I am reading that I want to share with you.

I got home and my furnace was out and I quickly employed the 90/10 rule. We did our best all night to keep the house warm, kiddos covered in blankets, and everyone made it comfortably sleeping the night away. When I got in bed the 90/10 idea struck me again as I reflected on a homeless couple I had seen on Sunday in the city. They were bundled up together in a doorway on Washington and Clark. Two bodies snuggled under a heavy mountain of blankets.

I prayed: Thank you, Lord. I am grateful for the roof over my head.

I woke up this morning and started getting ready for work and the kiddos moving for school. I warmed up my shower and ran into the kids bathroom to grab a roll of toilet paper. When I walked in Clay said, “Mom watch this!” He exhaled so that I could see his breath. It struck me b/c that bathroom has some pipe issues; it registered and I thought oh no! I tried to turn on the bathtub. Nada. Frozen.

I grabbed a hairdryer and started to heat up the pipes. The kids ran around and dripped all of the faucets and I called The Hubs. While we were on the phone creating a plan, the pipe burst spraying me in the face and water everywhere. If you’ve ever seen a pipe burst, it really is quite comical. It sprays forcefully – all over the place with no set direction – just randomly hitting here and there, high and low, left and right. Like a lose hose on full blast, attacking you with water. I ran to the basement and turned the water off while the kids hurried around to grab towels and clean up the sopping mess. I swore A LOT and REAL LOUD because when something goes terribly wrong that is what I do. The louder the better. It is cathartic.

Then once the chaose settled, the 90/10 rule struck me again. I tell you this because maybe you’re having a shitty day. Maybe it has been a shitty week or month or year. And maybe you don’t want to employ the 90/10 rule; but, I think believe there is real value in it. Shitty times pass, and they pass faster with the right attitude. A positive attitude can make even the worst of times feel less heavy. I pray a lot (read: all day long) and try as hard as I can to stay in communication with God because he helps me to carry the load of mom worry while staying focused on our big dreams, too. And the 90/10 rule aligns with the teachings I’ve read in the Bible.

Mind you, I can appreciate feeling down. I can embrace it even. When I feel bad, I let it happen. I’m not over here smiling through shit all day, every day. When my daughter is sad, the first thing I suggest is to GET IT OUT. Cry and write it all down, scream it all out loud. But put emotions to it, put words to it and then give it over to God to carry while you address the mascara running down your face. Maybe those days are many and maybe those days are few, but either way, let them be what they are. Because it is ok to feel bad.

I just don’t recommend sitting in it for long.

I believe the 90/10 rule is true and I’m exited to read Swindoll’s book, The Grace Awakening after I finish Marie’s book, Everything is Figureoutable, which I totally recommend.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s